self awareness

I go far, far back in the time, where there was no earth, I remember being an ash, coming out of the beating volcanic heart of the world. Fearless and fearsome, dancing and rolling around, falling onto the damp soil… I started to become a beating heart, the heart of the universe, I was standing tall… with my fists in my pockets, I was nervous, I was uncertain, about myself, about the world, about every movement around myself. I could feel my nails running through my palms, sweaty palms of mine…. I never grew any self-confidence yet still I managed to keep my head up my entire life… I was standing tall, in my light blue jeans, heavy wind shielding jacket and with my wool hat… I looked around nervously and I started to walk, I watched every step of mine because I was always worried about the way I walked, I found my toes ugly! my entire life… ok don’t get distracted, stay focused. So let’s get back to where it all started… the plot involves me sitting nervously at the edge of my chair and thinking how could I possibly be that calm ? I have never been a calm person, I have always been the fire under the ice…. I have always talked too fast, shown too much self confidence while been empty inside… I have always begged god not to let go of my smile… However one day I looked into the mirror and I saw myself from far behind, I have always been that curled up little creature hiding in a corner, while my shoulders have been straight, deep down, far away I have always been holding myself tight to avoid getting hurt by any sudden attack of the passing stars…. I have always been the pillar for everyone yet I have been an ash for myself… I have never been a confident person yet I portray myself as one strong me! So here is a note to myself: dear me, please stay being me… hey little me, don’t be afraid of the world… it all is going to be fine, everyone is as lost as you are,,,, people just learn how to hide all of their fears and cover it with a calm glitter… so can you….



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