Monthly Archives: June 2017

Swamp of lost dreams

When I was a kid, my dream was to become somebody. I was hoping to reach the peak of fame through science. I worked hard, initially to make my mom happy and to become a famous kid but what happened was that I was labeled the nerdy one, the geeky boring kid. I had very few friends and even less close friends. I started to enjoy studying for the sake of it in order to achieve my goals. I became a focused little kid. Entered university with a good score and studied my dream topic. Eventually like many others as a mandatory continuation of studies I ended up abroad. Battling homesickness and cultural shocks, I fulfilled another task and managed to do my doctorate degree. However more and more I was detached from me and I was becoming somebody else. This somebody else was not the happiest. I was mainly left to deal with my griefs. I started a career that I thought would be my dream come true and I then hit the cold block of desperation. Losing my hope and occasionally my faith. I was worried and terrified as I could no longer focus. Nothing got me happy and most was saddening. I saw my dream going into a POOF! done, gone! Life and its hurdles killed the little sapling of hope and desire inside me and I became the empty shell for my physical body. Today, I am sitting here and wondering where in the path I made the wrong turn? To end up in the swamp of my lost dreams? Where did I start to do things out of routine rather than desire? When did I forget to enjoy my work instead finding it a burden? Sometimes I am disgusted by my own smiley face because truth is that inside it is as empty as a balloon.